Hooray for Checks and Balances

I'm lighting a victory cigar and hoisting a celebratory cocktail in favor of the return of government as the founders meant. While I'm sure many of the Democrat's lawyers are gearing up for the Virginia recount, I hope some of them are sober and at their offices typing up subpoenas for Dick Cheney. In the next week, I hope to light another cigar celebrating the firing of Rumsfeld.

Texas, as usual, is a severe disappointment. More Kay and more pollution from Joe Farton.

Syllogism

Conservatives have always held that people know better than government how to spend money. That's the catchphrase they've always used with "liberals" to justify lower taxes. Lets harken back to classic Greek logic to learn something about the modern day "conservatives."

1. The majority of the population does not support the war in Iraq.
2. The "conservative" government" has made it clear that they will not leave Iraq and will continue to fund all Iraq War operations with taxpayer money.
3. Therefore, the "conservatives" feel that they know better than the people how their money should be spent.

Simple as that. These people are not conservative at all. They may say that they have cut taxes to allow the people to spend their money as they see fit. But this isn't true. They've overseen the greatest spending increase since the so called "Great Society" of LBJ...maybe ever earlier. So they've been masters over a massive expansion of government decision making...and cloak this under some tax cuts that mostly benefit the rich. This is not conservatism...it is irresponsibility masked by good powerpoint presentations and well crafted talking points. Tomorrow vote Democrat, independent, or abstain.

Elephant in the Room

One thing I've found missing in all the midterm election rhetoric is any discussion of fiscal responsibility. After reading this article, it seems almost criminal that we're not discussing the looming explosion. The article paints a non-partisan picture of the effects of the deficit and the demographic explosion of entitlments, on which we are on the precipice.

It seems odd to me that Bush squandered so much of his so called political capital on Social Security reform, when the real problem is health care costs. Other articles I've read have shown that the majority of health care costs are due to end-of-life care, where families will spend oodles just to keep Grandma alive for another month. While I'm sure some sort of reform is due for all entitlements, I strongly support reforming minds to a "culture of death." Maybe we could co-opt Nancy Reagan and advertise a "Just Say Death" campaign. While this won't go over too well with grieving families, I think we're screwed until Americans in general realize that quality of life is better than quantity of life.

Devo in Dallas

Before going to the Devo show, I asked myself two questions: 1) would I hear anything about altruistic rhubarbs?, and 2) what about suburban robots that monitor reality? For any true spudboys out there, you'd know that I wanted to hear Smart Patrol/Mr. DNA off of Duty Now for the Future. Rest assured, I realize that not everyone reveres Devo the way that I do. Luckily, Dena also shared my dedication so we proceeded to sing our way through a perfect setlist. While I don't have a setlist (Dena has my last iteration, that went by the wayside on my serendipitous separation from RadioShack), we do have some pics from the show:

Where the men are men...

I found this jolly snippet over at Sullivan's:

"...some Shiite Islamists in Iraq are allegedly killing shepherds because they have not put modesty "diapers" on their goats! The goats are too tempting for Muslim males, it appears. Well, compared with the walking black tents they force their women into, goats are indeed quite fetching. The logic of religious fundamentalism is nothing if not relentless."

Other notes...

So Wilsonion Bush's brassy, yet naive, goal of spreading democracy across the globe ain't going so damn good. To wit:

• Hizbollah kidnaps some guys and Israel bombs the burgeoning democracy Lebanon back to the stone age. This seems akin to my desire to napal Kevin Martin's house in 1983 after he stole my trumpet. But, in reality, Kevin's house wasn't all that close to democracy.
• The wacky-Pakistani's bombed out a subway in Mumbai. Again, I was just pissed about my trumpet.
• There's a 100 people getting killed in Baghdad everyday in a pretty gruesome manner. All of it purely sectarian. I never had a problem with Kevin Martin's family, although I heard his brother turned out one valve short of a cornet.
• Crazy-asses in Mogadishu trupeted the fact that Islamic radicals have staged a coup d'etat in Somalia demanding a pure Islamic republic. Ethiopia has invaded to prevent Somalia from returning to the bin Laden haven it was back in the nineties.
• Afghanistan is way fuckin' out of control. Seems that the suicide bombing craze has reached this land where you could just as well get all fucked up on the trumpet-shaped opium poppies
• Iran has been showing the world some serious brass in supporting Hizbollah and flouting the neutered UN, and the so called Bush-doctrine has about as much teeth as a 100 year old grandmother.
• Kooky Kim Jong Il in North Korea has been prancing around like he has a mouthpiece up is ass chunking missiles into the Sea of Japan. Given Iraq, North Korea and Iran feel like they have the world by the E-valve.

So what theme runs through all these humongous problems? If you said the trumpet fanfare of fanatical nutcases, your right. Has our horny foreign policy helped? Bush loves to show brass, but will it work? (by the way, I've had a few drinks...)

Return of the Grevious Poster

I know I've been horribly derelict in posting. It has been all I can do to get out of bed in the morning lately so severe is my melancholy, but alas, under the immeasurable live-giving properties of Chivas Regal, I have returned.

So, music. I was urged to post thanks to the miracle of the iPod, of which I've regaled many times on this page. I am too lazy to dig up the links, but you know. Gram Parsons' collaboration with Emmylou Harris on $1000 Wedding has long been, in my mind, the gold standard of the duet. My enjoyment of this song, as I've recognized in the past, has been on the strength of the quality of the counterpoise (which I may be using incorrectly but fuck it) of the two angelic voices; however, I've always struggled with what the hell the song is about. Most of the lyrics are readily intelligible, but somewhat cryptic: "it's supposed to be a funeral...it's been a bad, bad day." One can easily make out that something "bad" has happened...but just what? I have my own theories, but I would enjoy engaging the group in this discussion. I feel confident many readers have GP/Return in their collection and those that don't should should be ashamed of themselves and head right over to iTunes or your favorite side-of-the-mountain online music-seller and avail yourselves of this tremendous tune. Hopefully, a few of you still check in from time to time and will be willing to contribute...if not, I'll be pelting you with email in the next few days.

One specific question I'd like answered: in 1971, was a $1000 Wedding expensive? I'm assuming so, but I'll let the more economically gifted posters address this.

Superhero Quiz

If you're curious which Superhero you most closely resemble, head here.

I was "Ironman" by a mile. Not being a comics nerd, I don't know a damn thing about Ironman, so I checked it out:

Iron Man was originally an anti-communist hero. Throughout the character’s comic book series, technological advancement and national defense were constant themes, but later issues developed Stark into a more complex and vulnerable character as they depicted his battle with alcoholism and other personal difficulties.
Writers often portray Iron Man as a symbol of humanity's creativity as well as its frailties. He is often placed in contrast with his close friends Captain America and Thor, the former as a comparison between interventionist and cooperative attitudes, and the latter comparing science and the supernatural. Throughout most of his career, Iron Man has been a member of the superhero team the Avengers, and has been featured in several incarnations of his own various comic-book series.

Movie Review

I checked out The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada last night, which won acclaim at Cannes last year as Tommy Lee Jones' directorial debut. This flick is way under the radar screen, but definitely worth watching as a modern western that is alternately quirky and murky in dealing with its main theme of redemption.

It is impossible not to conjure Cormac McCarthy in evaluating this movie (as has been done in many reviews), because of the Mexican-Texas border setting, modern times, and other thematic elements; but these comparisons are apt only on the surface. The engine of the movie draws on the potential of violence instead of violence itself. Instead of McCarthy's majestic prose, this story is full of irony and includes choppy jumps from the now to the past.

The border is a great setting for a story, as has been proved many times by McCarthy as well as other movies like Lone Star and Lonesome Dove. Along with McCarthy, the latter is also a pink elephant in the room during the flick. Lee plays an old salty rancher who doesn't have much to see, but beyond his seemingly impenetrable exterior has an intrinsic goodness. Very much like the Woodrow Call character he portrayed in the classic miniseries of the Larry McMurtry book. Those familiar with Dove may have difficulty seeing the distinction between the characters.

The film has a pleasant low-budget feel that doesn't jeopardize the presentation. I can't say the same for Dwight Yoakum who always seems to be creeping into small roles. I personally wish he would hop into his long, white, Cadillac and head back for Bakersfield rather than regaling us with wooden line readings that, in terms of stale badness, remind me of Hayden Christiansen's in the Star Wars flicks. Melissa Leo shows up as a promiscuous waitress. It took me a while to realize that she played Kay on Homicide...the skilled female detective of questionable sexual orientation. I didn't find her really heating up the screen here, but it may have been the indelible creepiness of Kay etched in my brain.

All in all, definitely worth checking out. In honor of Joe Bob Briggs: one breast, some mild hand-to-hand combat that couldn't masquerade for kung-fu, one reeking corpse.

Amnesty

My new pet issue, that allowing Iraqi warfighters (not terrorists) back into society over there is a completely logical thing to do, has found a supporter over at the National Review's Corner blog. He or she writes:

In the same way, if we capture Iraqis who are battling our troops they should be taken to Guantanamo so as to render them out of commission for the duration of hostilities, but I can't see why anyone would object to the Iraqi government supported by us giving amnesty to such people on condition that they not engage in warfare against the established order in the future. Attacks against our troops, even sneaky attacks, are not the same thing as wanton attacks against noncombatant civilians.

Both parties are turning this into a jingoistic political football and they're both wrong. Another post mentions the strategic benefits of this amnesty offer:

An amnesty proposal which focuses on dividing the opposition is a good idea. If you target the locals and give them a way to end their involvement with the insurgents, then you create a divide even if no one takes advantage of it. It creates a sense of doubt between the locals and the foreigners. If any of the locals lay down their arms they will also bring in a treasure trove of intel. They may or may not reveal the location of safe house or weapons cashes, but the fact that they might know and might talk means that those locations are compromised. The insurgency is much like the mob. It requires secrecy. It operates in the shadows. If a mobster turns states evidence and brings down a mob family, would granting him immunity desecrate the graves of fallen law enforcement?

If nothing else, this should bolster my purple cred.

Summer Grilling

I was reading an article about grilling outdoors that settled upon the ubiquitous question of gas vs. charcoal. I thought the answer , given by a bona fide chef, was put pretty well, "I acknowledge that gas grilling is easier, quicker, and safer, but for me, one fundamental reason I love grilling is the excitement that's born from the risk involved: With charcoal grilling, there's a big chance you'll ruin your dinner. I love the challenge of starting the perfect fire, and cooking over live coals is unpredictable and thrilling."

For me it's a no brainer - gas. Since my tastebuds are usually sullied by poisons like cigars and booze, I don't believe I could tell the difference in taste, so I'll take the simplicity of gas.

My pride, however, is in my grill. It was an inexpensive two-burner Home Depot model that I received as a birthday present seven years ago. It has received extensive use, we grill a couple of times a week, and suffered mightily at the hands of Texas weather. To me, it's the equivalent of a twenty year-old car that one is determined to keep running...usually with coat-hangers and duct tape.

1. The hinge fastening the top of the clamshell to the bottom of the clamshell failed. Replaced with random bolt from garage junk.

2. Ignition device failed during first month of use. I currently employ the spark-and-scare method of ignition whereby I spark the gas with a long lighter and it eventually explodes all around my face.

3. Multiple grate replacements as well as many of the other innards.

4. Wooden handle eventually fell to pieces due to exposure. Fashioned a new wooden handle out of random 1x2's from previously cited garage junk. Edges rounded with router. Spacers cut from same stock and attached with more random bolts from garage. Critical design error: bolts should have been counterbored (sunk below the level of the handle). As they now stand proud of the handle, they are heated internally by the grill to the temperature of molten ingots.

5. Shelves on either side of grill decayed due to said exposure. This was my piece de resistance. I had just renovated the master bathroom which involved pulling out the old countertop. I built a new countertop, but being a packrat, the old countertop was still laying around the garage. I occasionally put it on sawhorses to be used as an assembly station because grip drips and paint blotches are easily removed from the formica top (or at least that's the idea.) I keep all this garage junk because I, of course, think I might use it someday. In this case, I cut a notch in the old countertop to go around the grill and pretty much quadrupled the amount of shelf space available on the grill. It's not the prettiest thing in the world - a black grill with a 1967 Formica bathroom counter for a prep shelf, but it's terribly functional.

I think at this rate I can keep it running for another fifteen years or so.

Why the outrage?

The new Iraqi government today announced that it would consider granting amnesty to the so-called terrorists that had American blood on their hands. Then there's a flurry of denouncements saying they didn't mean to say it and/or it was taken wrong etc. I don't get the outrage here.

This is a war, as we are consistently reminded by the President. We were not invited to Iraq, but we're the most powerful nation in the world and we went anyway. Some people in Iraq didn't like this. Namely a bunch of Sunni Arabs that used to be the boss. I can see why they're pissed, but it is as impossible to conceive of the pissed off Iraqis forming a regular army and putting up a fight against mighty America as it is to think that Colonial America could field a regular army and defeat the most powerful country in the world. Certain situations require adjustment of tactics.

As I've said several times before, blowing up Humvees with remotely detonated bombs is warfighting...not terrorism. Sometimes civilians get killed, just like they did when we dropped two atomic bombs or fire-bombed Dresden, but if the target is military I can't see this as terrorism. Beheading journalists or killing Iraqis for buying mayonnaise is terrorism. So when has there even been a war in which the warfighters were permanently imprisoned? Of course they should get amnesty if they didn't commit war crimes.

Did we not allow imprisoned Vietnamese or Japanese or Germans to go back to their families? But this war will never have a Battleship Missouri moment, you say? What was to keep the Japanese, who had been suicide bombing American ships, from suicide bombing MacArthur's interim government in Tokyo?

Why the outrage?

The new Iraqi government today announced that it would consider granting amnesty to the so-called terrorists that had American blood on their hands. Then there's a flurry of denouncements saying they didn't mean to say it and/or it was taken wrong etc. I don't get the outrage here.

This is a war, as we are consistently reminded by the President. We were not invited to Iraq, but we're the most powerful nation in the world and we went anyway. Some people in Iraq didn't like this. Namely a bunch of Sunni Arabs that used to be the boss. I can see why they're pissed, but it is as impossible to conceive of the pissed off Iraqis forming a regular army and putting up a fight against mighty America as it is to think that Colonial America could field a regular army and defeat the most powerful country in the world. Certain situations require adjustment of tactics.

As I've said several times before, blowing up Humvees with remotely detonated bombs is warfighting...not terrorism. Sometimes civilians get killed, just like they did when we dropped two atomic bombs or fire-bombed Dresden, but if the target is military I can't see this as terrorism. Beheading journalists or killing Iraqis for buying mayonnaise is terrorism. So when has there even been a war in which the warfighters were permanently imprisoned? Of course they should get amnesty if they didn't commit war crimes.

Did we not allow imprisoned Vietnamese or Japanese or Germans to go back to their families? But this war will never have a Battleship Missouri moment, you say? What was to keep the Japanese, who had been suicide bombing American ships, from suicide bombing MacArthur's interim government in Tokyo?

Matching Fun

In a comment to an earlier post on third parties, I mentioned how I still support voting third party to allow for Matching Funds in the next election. After writing this, I realized I know next to nothing about public funding of elections. So I went to the FEC site and read the law...so you don't have to. Here's the salient passage:

Minor party candidates and new party candidates may become eligible for partial public funding of their general election campaigns. (A minor party candidate is the nominee of a party whose candidate received between 5 and 25 percent of the total popular vote in the preceding Presidential election. A new party candidate is the nominee of a party that is neither a major party nor a minor party.) The amount of public funding to which a minor party candidate is entitled is based on the ratio of the party's popular vote in the preceding Presidential election to the average popular vote of the two major party candidates in that election. A new party candidate receives partial public funding after the election if he/she receives 5 percent or more of the vote. The entitlement is based on the ratio of the new party candidate's popular vote in the current election to the average popular vote of the two major party candidates in the election.

So the more votes a third party gets in an election, the more public funding they merit and, therefore, the greater their ability to get the message out in subsequent elections. Since the amount they get is a function of the ratio of their votes to the average to the two major parties, a Democratic vote in Texas actually weakens third parties. Being a centrist, I'd prefer to place my bets outside the two poles with someone like the Unity Party.

In praise of boxer-briefs

I ran across this article about the pre-eminence of boxer-briefs among men's underwear options in Slate. The author traces the arc of his underpants, which closely mirrors my own. I started with briefs, moved to boxers, and have comfortably settled in with boxer-briefs. Why? From the article:

Support. The obvious, yet oft-unspoken flaw with traditional boxers is their lack of cuppage. They are useless for athletic events, and can even be a hindrance. (An acquaintance refers to the "tunnel" created by wearing boxers under soccer shorts. Via this tunnel, one's testicles can gain sudden and direct access to the world outside.) Boxer briefs hold your goods in place and out of sight.

Stability. Traditional boxers never sit still. They are forever riding up above the waistband of your pants, or slipping down below it. That loose fabric tends to twist, and bunch, and wedgify. Constant realignments are required. (This is especially true with the "bubble-butt" cut of boxer, which uses a spinnaker-like central back panel. The idea is to avoid having any seams line up with the butt-crack, but all that extra cloth just crawls up in there anyway, to disastrous effect.)

Containment. That simple slit of a fly on traditional boxers encourages a phenomenon I will term "flop-out." Some boxer shorts seek to rectify this with a button enclosure, but a button is the last thing you care to deal with when you urgently need to urinate. Boxer briefs use the much more effective and user-friendly Y-front.

Also mentioned in the article was the strange trend in the preppie era to allow the legs of (usually plaid) boxers to "peek out" below the bottom of one's shorts. Although I'm sure I was guilty of this sartorial offense, now I see it as quite disturbing. Is that any better than the current trend among teen hipsters to reveal the tops of their drawers by wearing their trousers low?

Purple Hope?

Peggy Noonan sees a potential groundswell emerging for a third party to cater to the purples out there. Money quote:

Their idea is that the two parties are too polarized to govern well. It is certainly true that the level of partisanship in Washington seems high. Nancy Pelosi seems to be pretty much in favor of anything that hurts Republicans, and Ken Mehlman is in favor of anything that works against Democrats. They both want their teams to win. Part of winning is making sure the other guy loses, and part of the fun of politics, of any contest, of life, can be the dance in the end zone.

She continues with the litany of concerns by many Americans that are not being met, from spending to security. Given her background and her paper, she is, of course, speaking largely to the current schism in the GOP. She doesn't feel it necessary to include the erosion of civil liberties as one of the current hot-button issues about which Americans are concerned. She also doesn't address the large uncommitted center that dislike Kennedy liberalism as much as the religious right or Bush-style incompetence. But I couldn't agree more that the time is ripe for a third option. She refers to a nascent web group called Unity '08 who has the following mission, "By electing a Unity Ticket to the White House, Unity08 plans to force the country’s Democratic and Republican leaders to cease their runaway focus on the issues of outlying special-interest groups and once again align with the aspirations and will of average Americans."

Sounds like an excellent idea where I may be able to find a home. I'll be following up.

Technology Update and Music Review

Were I to stumble upon Steve Jobs at the bar, I would genuflect and beg forgiveness for my dalliances with non-iPod/iTunes products.

Apparently these days one's second anniversary should be celebrated with mp3 players, not wood or tuna or whatever Letitia Baldrige would lead you to believe. My wife gifted me the iPod 60G clydesdale of the Apple stable. While the device itself is light years beyond others I've sampled (and returned only to have the replacement break again), it's the seamless marriage of iTunes software and the iPod that makes this work so well. I avoided Apple products for years because I'm fundamentally against proprietary-ness, but in this case I'm more than willing to live with it.

The iTunes music store is much more expansive than I expected. I've tried to trick it with very deep cuts and local bands and it has rarely disappointed (it doesn't have Tin Soldier by the Small Faces which I'm desperate to find.) Podcasts are readily availble and easily handled by both devices. I'm sure in the other world I'd have to visit multiple sites to get music, TV shows, videos, podcasts, and audiobooks, but in the world of iTunes they are all readily available and simple to acquire. So I'm looking at the frustration of Musicmatch, Windows Media Player, RealPlayer, Rhapsody, eMusic and the rest of their ilk in the rear view mirror. These clunky combinations with all the Windows friendly mp3s are way more hassle than even a moderately tech-friendly guy like me is willing to stomach. Also, the battery life if far superior and the styling is no contest.

So with that, I give you my first iTunes playlist (boringly titled iTunes Playlist1) composed exclusively of songs I've recently downloaded that I did not posess for whatever reason (in no particular order because I shuffle):

Sunday Morning Coming Down - Kris Kristofferson: Been there, dude...a lot. So spare (with the inimitable haunting Hammond B3) and evocative, one wit said you could smell the chicken frying. One of the most lonesome songs since Hank. "...and it echoed through the canyons like the disappearing dreams of yesterday."

Lawyers, Guns, and Money - Warren Zevon: If Hunter S. Thompson had written songs, he'd have penned this one. "Send lawyers guns and money, I'm a desperate man: I'm hiding in Honduras and the shit has hit the fan."

Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me - Warren Zevon: If it weren't for the piano, I'd recommend this song for Six Feet High and Rising...with Susanne singing (like the Ronstadt cover.) "She put me through some changes Lord, just like a Waring blender."

Reptile - The Church: Great catchy hook from underappreciated 80s band that reminds me of some of the great Stone Roses songs.

Hash Pipe - Weezer: I think I denigrated Weezer on a past post or comment as not worth the title of a band that got better with age (with the caveat that I loved Hash Pipe.) I've never owned it...now I do. I'm betting that Hash Pipe is some of their early stuff.

California Stars - Wilco with Billy Bragg: Kicked-up Woody Guthrie capturing the early 20th century ethos of the Golden State. Listen for the fiddle. "I'd like to dream my troubles all away on a bed of California stars."

I Got You - Split Enz: An 80's song that I never heard enough to get burned out on. For some reason I think of the Boomtown Rats.

She Took a Lot of Pills (and died) - Robbie Fulks: Alt-country kitsch. Found on the third installment of the great Insurgent Country set put out by Bloodshot Records. "Nothin' in the world seemed to matter to her so she took a lot of pills and died."

On a Plain - Nirvana: Straight up rock song that moves along like a locomotive. Not beat to death like the other songs on the baby in a pool album.

Loose - The Stooges: Perfect heir to the MC5 as my pre-punk band of the year. Massive bass-line with shock-value lyrics and Iggy taking you on a trip. More than serviceable cover by Alejandro Escovedo's punk side-project Buick McKane (who I saw open for Son Volt back in the day.)

I Am One - Smashing Pumpkins: I'm a bit prejudiced against this band because I see their fans as a bunch of overly pale girls with too-black hair, piercings and an air of vapid pomposity. Once you get past that, they can rock with anyone.

Bullet with Butterfly Wings - Smashing Pumpkins: Just fucking rocks. Once you get the chorus in your head, "Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage," it will not leave.

Better Man - Pearl Jam: One of the most sing-alongable songs I've heard. I'm just now getting into the grunge scene. I hear Seattle is the next big thing.

Shambala - Three Dog Night: Great 70's pop that makes you want to howl along. This band had so many great songs and they see the benefit of a great organ...

Never Been to Spain - Three Dog Night: I get addicted to this song every five years or so since Bruce first played it for me in college. I fuck the lyrics up all the time, but you can't get it out of your head.

Hasselhoff Fix

Anyone needing their Hasselhoff fix should go here immediately. Big Dave with a leather suit, a giant boot, and a full orchestra elates his German audience with an inimitable version of the Glen Campbell gem, Rhinestone Cowboy. No shit.

Immigration

Even though I think much of the recent immigration hubbub is just smokescreen for a crumbling government, I'll weigh in:

Fence: What? We didn't have one? Sure, build a fence, we're a country for chrissakes. If I need a fence around my property, we should damn sure have one around our border.

National ID Card: Sounds like a fine idea, and don't just limit it to immigrants. As strongly as my civil libertarian streak is, this just doesn't frighten me. I have a passport and a driver's license and a SSN, so it seems to me we already have national ID cards. It seems to me that if you don't want identification, you're probably up to no good.

English as National Language: Don't agree. Blatant attempt to stir up xenophobia among rednecks. I agree that immigrants should learn English, but if they don't do we give them a ticket?

Deporting 12 Million People: Right, let's see that. Look at more pragmatic solutions, like the one Bush suggested that caused a schism in his party. Whatever you do, don't deport the guys that cut my grass.

Speaking of which, that didn't seem very savvy politically. Is Rove shivering in his boots about being indicted that he's lost his usual acute political perception? Bush's biggest problem right now is defectors from his own party, and then he comes out with his amnesty suggestion which is a handgrenade to party unity. I don't get it.

More Evidence Iran is the new Third Reich

Disturbing news out of Iran:

Human rights groups are raising alarms over a new law passed by the Iranian parliament that would require the country's Jews and Christians to wear coloured badges to identify them and other religious minorities as non-Muslims.

Iran's roughly 25,000 Jews would have to sew a yellow strip of cloth on the front of their clothes, while Christians would wear red badges and Zoroastrians would be forced to wear blue cloth.

Yipes. When is the Munich moment?

Must Eat Restaurant in Chicago

As many of you may know, Chicago is a bounty of good eats. The surprise of the trip came from a tip from a (frequent) patron of The Lodge on Division (Rush St. area). If you go to Chicago, you need to fight your way into Chicago Pizza and Oven Grinders. Order the Mediterranean Bread and individual Pizza Pot Pies. This was some of the best eatin' I've experienced...and I've eaten a fair bit.

I don't really even know how to explain the Pizza Pot Pie except amazing. Now, you're likely to wait a fair piece. The Maitre'd is a strange fellow that doesn't write names on a list, because he has the unique ability to recognize faces. Well, we were told an hour wait and luckily there was a friendly pub across the street, The Clark Bar, so we headed over there to return a little over an hour later. When we headed back, the wife MF'd her way to immediate seating. The rest was awesome eating. Highly recommended. Beware, cash only...which makes me think: I can't remember ever eating at a cash-only restaurant that wasn't fantastic.

Maps and Legends

Thanks to Mike D. for posting in my absence. Please feel free to keep posting.

I just returned from a very nice trip to Chicago. Upon arrival, I received this very interesting link to a site that builds upon some of the interesting maps from the 2004 election that poo-poo the idea of red and blue states by showing actual results adjusted for population density (or as purple, as I like to call myself.) These maps show the countries of the world adjusted in size for over 100 different indices like 2050 populataion, tobacco and alcohol exports, grain imports, and the like. Obviously the US doesn't show well for exports. The map I would really like to see would show net service exports where I think we would look pretty well...or maybe investment.

Car Ribbon Things

There are precious few things that I detest more than the fake magnetic yellow ribbons that adorn just about every car, and especially truck, in Texas. They all invariably say, "Support the Troops." My response, "Fuck you, you cretinous inbred. I'll support whomever I choose to support and no amount of redneck advertising is going to help." I don't understand the motivation for this sort of display any more than the motivation of people still driving around with Kerry-Edwards bumper-stickers. Is it a need to belong?

The troop ribbons could become much less incendiary to me if they would just preface their message with an "I". I would still harbor many of the same prejudices towards these folks, but I would not feel like I was being told what to do by the likes of them. "I support the troops." Good for you!

Of course these types of public displays always seem to generate cottage industries. Take the plastic bracelet craze. NASCAR now has plastic bracelets signifying something. My company handed out red bracelets to symbolize our "turnaround plan." I suppose by wearing them, we were supposed to experience more solidarity with the other poor saps. (n.b. I never wore one.)

I'm always heartened when trends reach this phase because it signifies the end-phase. And so it goes with the magnetic trunk ribbons. On my walk in from the parking garage today, I saw the familiar fake ribbon design on the back of an SUV. As I neared the vehicle, I could tell it was not yellow and it did not implore me to do anything. It was white and polka-dotted with basketballs. The only verbiage...I love basketball. I expect I'll soon see a magnetic ribbon announcing to the world that Dachshunds are the greatest dogs and that my money and my child go to Baylor. The bumper-sticker we all know will have been twisted around to make a ribbon bearing phrases no more innocuous than my best day working wasn't as good as my worst day fishing. I can't wait.

Chi-town

I'll be in Chi-town for a week, but I did manage to get one taker for some guest blogging. I'm hoping to be back and refreshed by the end of the month.

Wonderful Opportunity!

Due to vacation, training classes at work, and general drunkeness, my blogging volume has been severely impaired. Therefore I declare May to be guest-blogging month. Send me an email to steve_buck_1999@yahoo.com if you think you can churn out a couple of paragraphs a week (and who can't?) Pseudonyms are accepted (and encouraged.) The only technical skill required is the ability to type (although I'll be happy to show you how to link.) As you know, all subjects are fair game including overt works of fiction.

I'm planning on being back to full-steam on June 1, so this is a limited engagement. Wouldn't "Guest-Blogger" look great on your resume! Looking forward to hearing from somebody...anybody.

Iran and Opium

This article takes a serious look at life inside Iran. I had no idea Iran leads the world in Opium usage by percent of its population. As expected, this is because nobody has a job and two-thirds of the population is under 30. The article also explains how the current hardline rule sprung from this desperation.

Continuing the parallels evident between Iran and the Third Reich, this seems similar to Germany's situation after WWI when they were punished severely by the Treaty of Versailles. Hitler responded by giving everyone jobs rearming the country. Iran is responding by building nuclear weapons, which engenders a sense of pride in the otherwise forlorn population.

The author reports from the city of Shaft. I wonder if he planned that?

New LCD

No, not a new LCD TV - the press has unearthed a new Lowest Common Denominator and her name is Jordan Susch. Here's Jordan's story in her own words:

“I’m a true example of how Harry Potter books can open your life to witchcraft,” said Jordan Susch. Susch says she read the first Harry Potter novel when she was in the fourth grade. Two years later, she says, she and her friends were practicing witchcraft.“We wanted to know if spells, potions and curses worked. By the seventh grade, I was so depressed, I set a date to kill myself,” Susch said.

How's that for a logical leap? She was depressed because her curses didn't work? Or because she's an idiot with idiot parents. I feel very confident that if you are suicidally depressed, there's more to it than the Half-Blood Prince.

So of course, the answer in Georgia is to ban the books from the school library because of the Lowest Common Denominator. Luckily she's found common-cause with a busybody mother with too much time on her hands. Closed-minded parent Laura Mallory said, “I want to protect my kids, children and others from evil, not fill their minds with it.”

Let's hope she's shielding her precious children from other fiction containing evil witchcraft like turning water into devil-liquor.

Hu?

There was a protest today at a joint appearance by President Bush and Chinese president Hu Jintao (or somesuch). Some gal started hollerin' at Hu about persucuting the Falun Gong religious sect. Good for her, I thought as I read the story. It couldn't hurt for Hu to finally get a little lip as well. What pissed me off is that Bush "expressed personal regret to Chinese President Hu Jintao for a protest during an elaborate welcoming ceremony on the White House lawn Thursday." There should be 100,000 Chinese-Americans on the Capitol Mall tomorrow showing Hu what it's like to have some freedom.

Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rumsfeld

I've been soaking up the recent public thrashings of Donald Rumsfeld by former Generals. The response from the White House and their proxies has been disingenuous, as usual. Claiming that there are 8000 Generals and only 6 have spoken out...therefore, Rummy's the man for 7994 Generals is statistically criminal.

However, the White House is in a serious pinch here. They should have taken Rummy out in 2004 when he offered to resign. Since then, Bush has done a swan dive in the polls. Firing Rumsfeld would mean Senate confirmations of a replacement...on TV every day. As bad as the news is for Bush as it is, this would be much worse as Democrats would seek to capitalize and Republicans would seek to distance. Bush has no choice but to keep Rummy on.

Tom Cruise Stays Relevant

If there was any doubt who would fill the Michael Jackson freak-out void in the news...

The Mission Impossible star, 43, said: "I'm gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there."

Who Moved My IED?

This post by Walter Kirn, substituting for Andrew Sullivan makes an interesting connection between vapid corporate sloganeering and the Iraq War. It's also well written and disparages my current professional vector (Six Sigma) which I like. He writes:

For Iraq, I blame the managers, of course, but I also blame their reading lists. More than once, while predicting victory, Donald Rumsfeld has used the magic words "Tipping Point." This new pop formula for achieving vast results from relatively limited efforts has turned out to be one disastrous abracadabra.

He goes on:

Behind every failed war is a failed metaphor (remember The Domino Effect, the Vietnam-era version of The Tipping Point?) that mesmerized its masters into waging it, kept them waging it once they started losing it, and immobilized them with disbelief when it turned back into intellectual smoke.Behind every failed war is a failed metaphor (remember The Domino Effect, the Vietnam-era version of The Tipping Point?) that mesmerized its masters into waging it, kept them waging it once they started losing it, and immobilized them with disbelief when it turned back into intellectual smoke.

I like that line "Behind every failed war is a failed metaphor..."

Musing on Idioms

We're all familiar with the idiomatic expression about a "wrench in the works" - meaning to screw up a plan. However, while listening to a Brit on some chat show the other day they referred to a "spanner in the works." I was aware that spanner was British for the American "wrench," but I was surprised to find an idiom that translated. One of the most difficult parts of learning any new language are idioms, because they infrequently jump languages. I guess it's a little easier in the situation at hand, because it's just jumping dialects.

I doubt that the expression "junk in the trunk," about large-assed women, translates to "junk in the boot" in England. Would Commander Cody sing about a "Lorry-drivin' Man?"

Back to the Bar

You can put the temperance movement on hold because it's safe to drink in bars in Texas again.

Chicago Intelligence Needed

The wife and I are planning an excursion to Chicago next month. We're interested if anyone has unique sites/restaurants/things to do while we're there. We'll probably knock out Wrigley and the Art Institute, but are curious if anyone has any deeper recommendations.

Detroit Dwarf City

If you were considering starting up an all-dwarf Kiss cover band, forget about it. It's been done. Twice. And there's some ill feeling between MiniKiss and TinyKiss with the potential for a mini-fistfight. I sense a reality show, but would it be Fox or MTV?

Wedge Issue Picks Up Steam

I was struck by the following headline and subhead in the LA Times today: "Christians Sue for Right Not to Tolerate Policies: Many codes intended to protect gays from harassment are illegal, conservatives argue."

The point the fringe religious right is making is that their religion requires them to speak out against homosexuality, and therefore a university regulation banning the harassment of gays is an infringement on their freedom of religious expression. Isn't this about like Islamists saying that their religion requires them to kill infidels, and therefore laws against murder are a abridgement of their freedom of religious expression? I can't see myself supporting anyone that uses religion to allow harassment of others, but I might support this: I'm sure there's some shit in the bible where God or Jesus or someone says to reap the bounty of the earth...therefore making a plant (pot) illegal limits my religious expression.

I was struck by the following headline and subhead in the LA Times today: "Christians Sue for Right Not to Tolerate Policies: Many codes intended to protect gays from harassment are illegal, conservatives argue."

The point the fringe religious right is making is that their religion requires them to speak out against homosexuality, and therefore a university regulation banning the harassment of gays is an infringement on their freedom of religious expression. Isn't this about like Islamists saying that their religion requires them to kill infidels, and therefore laws against murder are a abridgement of their freedom of religious expression? I can't see myself supporting anyone that uses religion to allow harassment of others, but I might support this: I'm sure there's some shit in the bible where God or Jesus or someone says to reap the bounty of the earth...therefore making a plant (pot) illegal limits my religious expression.

War On Christianity continues

I was struck by the following headline and subhead in the LA Times today: "Christians Sue for Right Not to Tolerate Policies: Many codes intended to protect gays from harassment are illegal, conservatives argue."

The point the fringe religious right is making is that their religion requires them to speak out against homosexuality, and therefore a university regulation banning the harassment of gays is an infringement on their freedom of religious expression. Isn't this about like Islamists saying that their religion requires them to kill infidels, and therefore laws against murder are a abridgement of their freedom of religious expression? I can't see myself supporting anyone that uses religion to allow harassment of others, but I might support this: I'm sure there's some shit in the bible where God or Jesus or someone says to reap the bounty of the earth...therefore making a plant (pot) illegal limits my religious expression.

French Roast

While I enjoy the popular uprising in general, I think the French protests and subsequent government cave-in over the jobs law shows a tragic shortsightedness. I don't think allowing employers the option to fire someone under 26 years old is a bad idea. They're slowly going to become more and more marginalized by their inability to complete, which is a result of their bloated welfare state. They have a stagnating economy, rising xenophobia and racism, and an inability to make hard decisions about the future of their country.

Boykin's Back

I might support Tom Delay's War on Christianity if it means we can get rid of characters like Gen. Earl Boykin. You may remember Earl as the guy who made a big splash a few years ago by cutting through the rhetoric and declaring the War on Terrorism to really be about good vs. evil. He went on to say basically that Islam was Satan.

In another episode described here, Boykin said he had proof positive that Satan was behind anyone taking up arms against America:

At several of his talks, he showed photos from the capital of Somalia, where he had commanded Delta Forces during the 1993 battle there. In the pictures, there were black streaks in the sky, photographic evidence, he said, of a "demonic spirit over the city of Mogadishu."

I'm thinking that we need to start fitting this guy for a straight jacket. President Bush thought he deserved to be promoted. And promote him he did...to a position where he had oversight of prisoners (in his mind, Satan's Soldiers) in Iraq. He apparently treated them much like you would expect.

So what now? Why, promote him again of course. Likely presidential candidate Sen. George Allen has put his name up to head all U.S. Special Ops. As noted in the Salon article linked above, it will be interesting to see if Faust McCain stays true to his anti-torture roots and votes against this cat, or if he continues to cave in to the religious right because of his presidential fever.

Birth of a Wedge Issue

This article describes how in the wake of the immigration protests, a school in San Diego has banned patriotic clothing and flags. This is how wedge issues are born. I would expect to hear some flag-waiving politicians demagoging this issue in the next day or so. The midterm elections will surely depend on something insignificant like this.

Enemies of Virtue

Delay, paragon of virtue, uttered the following in a speech last week on his so-called War on Christianity (via Sullivan): "Sides are being chosen, and the future of man hangs in the balance! The enemies of virtue may be on the march, but they have not won, and if we put our trust in Christ, they never will ... It is for us then to do as our heroes have always done and put our faith in the perfect redeeming love of Jesus Christ."

After atheists were declared worse marriage potential than Muslim immigrants, how can he say there's a War on Christianity with a straight face? I smell the GOP wedge issue du jour for the 2006 Congressional elections. We will be hearing a lot more about the contrived War on Christianity. I'm interested in how much of it we will hear from John "Faust" McCain.

Permanent Delay

I'm obviously overjoyed about the Delay resignation. He's always been a noxious melange of hubristic bullying with religious extremism: my two least favorite characteristics in a politician. However I have no doubt that he will play the martyr card so well, it would make Osama jealous. Some very frightening foreshadowing from Time, "[Delay] vowed to pursue an aggressive speaking and organizing campaign aimed at promoting...Republican candidates and a closer connection between religion and government." Ugh.

For any even modest admirer of the enigmatic songwriter Townes Van Zandt, the film "Be Here to Love Me" is a must watch (available from NetFlix here). Even without the great music culled from rare footage of live performances in various folks' living rooms, the movie would stand on its own just for the stories recounted by his many great friends (including the likes of Joe Ely, Steve Earle, Emmylou Harris, and especially Guy Clark.) No narrator is necessary to move the documentary along: this story is woven together efficiently by editing the many interviews to describe the action on the screen.

To those somewhat familiar with Townes life, he is accurately painted as alternatively engaging and frightening, and capable of just about anything. An example is the story of him falling off a four story balcony on purpose, just to see what it would feel like at the moment he started to fall.
This rare glimpse into Townes' day-to-day life, albeit liquor soaked, provided insight into his sense of humor and personable nature, giving lie to the usual description of him as perpetually depressed (granted, he is depressed quite a bit.) After watching Be Here to Love Me, you come away knowing that this was a giving man, whose cup runneth over with friends and family. But mostly you see a different breed of cat, whose single-minded devotion to his songcraft left him perpetually just a little out of touch with reality (the liquor and drugs didn't help his grasp of reality either).

The DVD contains some interesting extras including live performances and extended interviews with friends and family.

Flag Woes

The Mexican flag has been at the center of much of the controversy surrounding this week's immigration demonstrations around the country. The snap-judgment goes like this: what's the logic in waving the flag of the country you're trying to get away from? Or more crudely: if you like Mexico so much, why don't you go back? But I think these people miss the point. The Mexican flag is simply being used as a symbol of their heritage...and that happens to offend some people. Much like Southerners claim the Confederate flag is a symbol of their heritage...and it offends people. Why do I feel the people complaining loudest about the Mexican flag are the same people defending the Confederates?

Polygamy Debate

Being a fan of freedom of choice, my position on the polygamy debate is: do whatever you want, as long as it's legal and doesn't mess with me. But, frankly, I'd never seriously considered it much. This article by Jonathan Rauch, a good writer to whom I've linked before regarding introversion, has this thoughtful piece that I'm not sure I agree with, but is worth reading nonetheless. His point is that polygamy will ultimately destroy a society because the ratio of available women to available men goes all cattywampus.

The social dynamics of zero-sum marriage are ugly. In a polygamous world, boys could no longer grow up taking marriage for granted. Many would instead see marriage as a trophy in a sometimes brutal competition for wives. Losers would understandably burn with resentment, and most young men, even those who eventually won, would fear losing. Although much has been said about polygamy's inegalitarian implications for women who share a husband, the greater victims of inequality would be men who never become husbands.

He goes on to cite sources that claim societies with more men than women are governable only by tyrannies that export these "bare branches" in search of war. This article approaches the debate from a strange angle that I had never considered. It also claims that same-sex marriage is generally a stabilizing force in society while polygamy is destabilizing.

I oppose polygamy where the women cannot act of their own free will (which Dick Logan, our correspondent in Utah, claims is the usual variety.) I don't think polygamy is going to really catch on when all parties are acting out of their own free will, and therefore I doubt we would ever reach the tipping point ratio referred to in this article.

Live Shows

After a night of playing trivia I've retired to the porch to drink a few more beers and listen to some music. I've chosen a live CD by Joe Ely tonight. It sent me thinking about live shows, as Joe Ely is probably the best live performer I've ever seen (next to Six Feet High and Rising of course.)

I've seen some great shows, but I'm interested in your best concert experiences. For me, it's mostly small venue shows, as I feel arena shows are dehumanizing. Here's a few that are especially memorable:

Joe Ely at Mayfest in Fort Worth about 2001: If this guy can get this crowd going, he's capable of anything.

Uncle Tupelo at Liberty Lunch in Austin about 1992: first show at which I was high, plus it was my favorite all time band...transcendent.

Toots and the Maytals at Liberty Lunch in Austin (~1988): man I was shitfaced and almost got my ass whipped marching to the front. Backup singers were amazing.

Devo at the Backroom in Austin (~1990): I had a headache but one of my favorite all-time bands jammed my way through it.

Gourds at Barleyhouse in Dallas (1997): during my non-drinking phase, but still great.

True Believers at Eastchase Live in College Station (1987): because of a storm, Alejandro and the boys were about two hours late but still rocked the shit out of the crowd of about 10.

Son Volt at Sons of Hermann Hall in Dallas (~1994): what a great joint for a show, I think Toby got a signed poster. They can never go wrong closing with Chickamauga.

Ramones and Social Distortion at the Bronco Bowl in Dallas (1993): two powerhouse bands at an amazing venue.

I'm sure I'm leaving out dozens of shows, but the dates bespeak the fact that I haven't seen a good show in a while. I saw the Gourds a couple of years ago at the Wreck Room in FW and they were good, but I really haven't been a live music guy lately. Let me hear your stories. Toby, don't forget the Simple Minds concert at Reunion in 85 or so.

McCain Sellout Watch Part III

More evidence that McCain is selling out his maverick image in favor of the same groups that burned him at the stake in 2000. I don't think you can rely on him to speak his mind any more.

Busy week

I've had limited time for posting this week, I'm learning about intercorrelation and multi-collinearity. But I have an interesting story on immigration. Yesterday in downtown Fort Worth we had what passes as a protest here. There was about a thousand Mexican teenages marching through the streets and howling. As is usual for downtown Fort Worth, there was also a large police presence: horseback, bikes, cars, and on foot.

I was following the protestors around just for kicks and all of the sudden cops came screaming from all directions. I arrived at Fifth and Main, nexus of the problem (and location of my friendly tobbaconist.) Apparently some girl took a swing at a female cop on a bike. Next, her boyfriend took a swing at a male cop on a bike. It wound up worse for the male, because the cop threw him through the window of a parked truck. I missed the actual cop-protestor violence, but saw them get arrested and saw the truck get towed. The cops quickly diverted all traffic to avoid any rioting. It was nice to see the horseback cops finally have to do some real work.

Anyway, I'm not sure how much good the protest march did for the cause. The violence probably caused a whiplash effect.

Watch Out For Atheists

I have to confess that this surprised me a little bit.

From a telephone sampling of more than 2,000 households, university researchers found that Americans rate atheists below Muslims, recent immigrants, gays and lesbians and other minority groups in “sharing their vision of American society.” Atheists are also the minority group most Americans are least willing to allow their children to marry.

and...

[Penny Edgell, associate sociology professor and the study’s lead researcher] believes a fear of moral decline and resulting social disorder is behind the findings. “Americans believe they share more than rules and procedures with their fellow citizens—they share an understanding of right and wrong,” she said. “Our findings seem to rest on a view of atheists as self-interested individuals who are not concerned with the common good.”

Maybe I really don't belong here.

PSA

As a Public Service Announcement, you should know that cops are now patrolling inside bars looking for drunks. I think they're bound to find some.

And here's the rationale according to TABC Commissioner Carolyn Beck, "We feel that the only way we’re going to get at the drunk driving problem and the problem of people hurting each other while drunk is by crackdowns like this.” Sure she's worried about drunk driving, but she's got some other social ills in mind, "People walk out into traffic and get run over, people jump off of balconies trying to reach a swimming pool and miss.” Those are the people that need saving.

This woman is not living the reality-based community. If she keeps this up, the restaurant and bar owners trade association will become more powerful than the Teamsters and the AARP combined. Maybe that's the final showdown I'm looking for with the religious right. The Evangelicals pitted in a death match with restaurant and bar owners and their patrons.

Actually, maybe there's a political solution that I can be a part of. We need to have a referendum to make the TABC Commissioner an elected position. I will gladly serve in this capacity if the good citizens will elect me and I will tirelessly support their mandate to do nothing (beyond building a tent out behind my office where I can smoke cigars while I do business.)

Album Names

I mentioned in a comment that Steve Earle's "Shut Up and Die Like and Aviator" was one of my favorite album names. This got me thinking of starting a thread about album names. Also on my list: Rolling Stone's "Goat's Head Soup," and Uncle Tupelo's "Anodyne."

Cure for Cancer

Somebody has finally found a cure for cancer. Merck has developed a vaccination that prevents cervical cancer with staggering statistical significance. Glaxo is close on their heels with a similar vaccine. Call the neighbors, wake the children, get this puppy on the market, right?

Well, our friends in the Bush administration are likely to resist approval of the vaccines because it angers their benefactors on the religious right. In another skirmish in this administration's war on science, they will argue that this vaccine gives young girls a license to have underage sex. They believe that unhealthy sexual habits lead to cervical cancer and by giving girls this vaccine, they will be giving them a license for promiscuity.

I don't know the answer, but I wonder how many young girls delay their defloweration out of a concern for cervical cancer? According to the article from the New Yorker linked above, the average age that girls lose their virginity is under seventeen. The Bush theocrats are unhappy with this and seek to stem this tide with anti-science (and anti human-nature) actions like not availing girls of this vaccine, pouring tons of money into abstinence education, and keeping young folks away from rubbers. Similarly, they will not financially support efforts to educate people about condoms in AIDS-ravaged sub-Saharan Africa.

Part of me wishes that we could compare the average age at which girls lost their virginity in the 16th century (think of thirteen or fourteen year-old Romeo and Juliet) with current statistics. I think sexual behavior starts after puberty and there would not be a statistically significant age difference in the onset of such behavior through time immemorial. This would conclusively say what we already know - that the Bushies are trying to fight human nature. Unfortunately, such conclusive statistical proof would surely be shrugged off as fuzzy math or some other witches brew of illogic concocted by the reigning Evangelical inquisition.

So there you have it. Add this insult to the injuries of global warming, stem-cells, and all the rest, and pity the imminently avoidable deaths due to cervical cancer.

Jeopardy Test Online

I'm exempt, of course, because I'm already on the active contestant list (heh, heh), but anyone wishing to take the Jeopardy test can do so online now (where was this option during my lean years?!)

Sopranos Talk: Spoiler Ahead

So what's going to happen to Tony Soprano? I figured in last night's episode he'd be recuperating and plotting what to do with Junior. Now it's brain damage? I can't believe there will be 18 more episodes with James Gandolfini on a ventilator.

Are they following the leads of Six Feet Under and Deadwood where they have significant episodes where the main characters are comatose. Let me state for the record that I oppose this. However, it was kinda funny seeing Tony dress and speak like a midwestern salesman during last night's dream sequence.

Additionally, I'd be interested to know how "Big Love" is going over in Utah from our Sagebrush State correspondent, Dick Logan.

Townes Movie

For our singer/songwriter crowd...I was recently informed that there was a biography of Townes Van Zandt playing that the Ft. Worth Modern Art Museum. Alas, I missed it by a couple of days. Luckily it's available on Netflix here. It's about 10th in our queue, which is being managed like a Japanese manufacturing facility by my wife, so I should have a review up in a week or so.

Headline of the Day

Courtesy of the Chicago Sun-Times: "Man severs own penis, throws it at officers"

Dude, when you're out of ammo, you're out of ammo.

More Music Talk

Because I'm a blogger who is responsive to his readers, let's kick off a new music thread. I've been accused on many occasions of "good ol' days syndrome." Ask me about any band and I'm bound to answer, "I like their old shit." So, I want examples of bands where this does not hold true. Here's some examples of bands that are not up for debate:

Rolling Stones
U2
AC-DC
Bowie
Deep Purple (snickering)
Jefferson Starship (maybe the most high-contrast example)

Now I know that Toby is going to throw Steve Earle at me, but I don't buy it. As good as his post-heroin music has been, it ain't Devil's Right Hand or Guitar Town. Don't try Elvis either.

My Name is Steve and I am an Introvert

If you are an introvert or think you may know someone who is, read this essay by Jonathan Rauch. Highlights:

[S]omeone you know, respect, and interact with every day is an introvert, and you are probably driving this person nuts.

For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: "I'm okay, you're okay—in small doses."

We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widely understood...it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."

No doubt.

Fish on Friday

From the Startlegram: "During Lent, the Christian season of penitence preceding Easter, Catholics are prohibited from eating meat on Fridays. But in an unusual move, Bishop Kevin William Vann of the Fort Worth Catholic Diocese has waived that ban for this week only -- because St. Patrick's Day is Friday."

This seems a bit arbitrary, no? But why stop there. St. Patrick's Day might be the most famous (and least holy) of Saint's days, but it is by no means the only one. A quick trip over to the Saint's Calendar shows that pretty much every day is a Saint's Day (if you have time, don't miss the Saint's Fun Facts!)

Therefore, I propose, in honor of the Saint's, to continue this trend of relaxing Catholic prohibitions on Saint's days. For example, I think it would be appropriate on St. Cletus' Day (April 26) to allow all manner of birth control, lest someone bestow the Saint's name on an innocent child. Maybe there's a "St. Dwayne Ray" on whose day the Catholic's could turn a blind eye to capital punishment. Suicide by shotgun to the mouth would be acceptable only on St. Kurt's day. Sins of taking the Lord's name in vain as well as all other spoken vulgarities could be overlooked on St. Al Swearengen's Day.

I welcome religion turning its collective back on rigid moral absolutism. Things really do depend on circumstances. It's St. Patty's Day? Let's party.

Is Bush Conservative?

Andrew Sullivan has this scathing critique:

Bush is not a conservative. He's a Christianist in social policy; and a left-liberal on entitlements. This has been clear for several years now. His main achievement has been to wean more and more people onto government assistance; and to pledge vast increases in the generosity of that assistance. None of this will be reversed; very few entitlements ever are. All that's left is a massive tax hike. But that's coming. When it arrives, whoever enacts it, it will be the legacy and policy of one man: George W. Bush. And it will have to be the biggest tax increase for a very long time.

Ouch. I find the duality of Bush's frames of reference interesting as well. Domestically, it seems like everything he has done has been for short-term political gain (tax cuts, steel tariffs, prescription drug plan) while in foreign policy the thinking is all airy-fairy "let the historians judge me" long-term thinking (democratizing the universe). I think Rove being the point-person on domestic policies has a lot to do with it.

News Whip

I'm so beaten down by current events lately. Excuse me, but I can't work up enough emotion to blog about raising the eight trillion dollar debt ceiling or the morass in Iraq/Iran. I guess Mike Wallace retiring is news, but the man is 88 years old. Retire already. My interest this morning spiked a little when I saw this headline at Drudge: GEOLOGISTS: AFRICA SPLITTING APART, NEW OCEAN FORMING. But it was typical Drudgian hyperbole. The active area seems to be about the size of Palo Pinto County with the "new ocean" about the size of Possum Kingdom Lake. And so, the following...

What image does your brain conjure when you read that Germany "is deploying an army of prostitutes to satisfy the needs of libidinous fans during the month-long 2006 World Cup"? To me it's kind of an S&M thing, because you know jackboots are involved. I suppose if the Germans are going for another massive remilitarization, I'd prefer they be hookers. However, there is some concern that domestic supply may not meet the demand. The article continues, "German media had reported in recent months that up to 40,000 women would be smuggled into the country to work as sex slaves during the World Cup." Ah, Globalization!

Brackets?

If anyone is running a bracket, let me know. If I don't hear from anyone, I'll set one up.

McCain Sellout Watch

We've witnessed the beginning of what will be a series of sickening episodes over the course of the next two years. John McCain, former maverick firebrand who, in 2000, was screwed over by Bush in South Carolina, has realized he can't win without selling his soul to the religious-Bushian right. He recently said that he would sign the South Dakota abortion bill that outlaws abortion even in the case of rape or incest. He also implored voters in the Tennessee straw poll not to vote for him, but to write-in Bush's name because it's a patriotic thing to do when we're a country at war. He has also cratered by supporting the Bush position of teaching intelligent design based on showing "all the theories," supporting the port debacle, and flip-flopping in tax-cuts.

McCain was once a tolerable Republican to me, because he seemed to be fiercely independent, pragmatic, and not in the pocket of the religious right. Count me off that bandwagon.

Wrong message?

Bush said, ""I'm concerned about a broader message this issue could send to our friends and allies around the world, particularly in the Middle East."

I see where he's coming from but I think I disagree (big surprise, huh?). Aren't we really saying that there's a pretty high standard to participate in the global economy and if you want to have diversified (non-petroleum) economies, you need rigidly prove you don't associate with terrorists?

And I think it also tells the executive branch that a fully globalized economy isn't and end unto itself...globalization also should have a major security component. It appears this deal was rubber-stamped by the economic branches of government and shows a frightening decoupling of economic policy from security policy despite all the inter-agency cooperation that was purported to have been accomplished as a result of 9/11.

Our goals should be to eventually have strong trade interactions with Arab and Muslim countries because not only does this help them elevate their economies, but it gives us strong leverage to insist they crack down on terrorists using and abusing their countries.

I also think the WTO should play a larger role insuring global trading partners are not associated with Islamic anarchists.

Life Elsewhere?

Here's big news. Looks like NASA had found water on a moon of Saturn. Biblical literalists beware.

For the love of God...

Check this out:

A Gallup report released today reveals that more than half of all Americans, rejecting evolution theory and scientific evidence, agree with the statement, "God created man exactly how Bible describes it."

"They are "not so quick to agree with the preponderance of scientific evidence." "

Though it goes against every fiber of my belief in privacy and personal freedom, I think these people need to wear signs on their backs. Something discreet saying, "Don't try to be logical with me," or "God on board" would be fine.

The anti-science/pro-ghost stance of the Bush administration is just fueling this fire so I think Bush should be the first to wear a sign. Maybe "I was told there is no math."

As a person overly educated in statistics, I'm more than aware of how high the bar is to claim "correlation." The following summary of their regression analysis sums up why I'll never be a Republican:

"Several characteristics correlate with belief in the biblical explanation for the origin of humans. Those with lower levels of education, those who attend church regularly, those who are 65 and older, and those who identify with the Republican Party are more likely to believe that God created humans 'as is,' than are those who do not share these characteristics."

Putting on my elitist cap, I translate that to cretinous riff-raff, people who go to bed early on Saturday night, dying old people with nothing to lose and grasping for hope, and Bush/Robertson Republicans. Not a very fun bunch.

Flush the hands-free toilet

This article gives a right-good pantsing to the laser-toilet. Key points:

The auto-flush toilet violates two basic rules of technology adoption: Never replace a technology with an inferior technology; and never confiscate power from your users.

I have to deal with these shitty shitters every day and couldn't agree more with the author. Warning: link is a bit scatalogical.

Weber's Theory

In the last week or so, I think I've heard the definition of a "state" as and entity that claims a monopoly on the legitimate use of violence within a given area. This grouping of words seemed to be more than a coincidence...and that's what Wikipedia is for. It's called Weber's Thesis. It's brought up frequently in relation to the Iraqi situation and how the forces of violence seem to be aligning along tribal lines instead of in support of a central government. It seems to be a pretty solid theory to me: name one stable country with two armies.

Lego Weirdness

I thought my recreations of X-Wing Fighters using Lego was impressive back in 1978, but I can't hold a candle to these folks.

Back

I don't know which excuse works best for my extended absence. I was in a training class last week, so I had no blogging time at work. Then I've been on a four-day jag that finds me on the porch late on Sunday night drinking Mexican beer out of a can and smoking a cigar that's been riding around in the bed of my truck.

I'm glad Hustle and Flow won and Oscar tonight for their Pimp song. Anything to go get more people to watch that excellent movie. Crash won best picture in what I believe was backlash against Brokeback. I saw Crash and it was good...but not best picture good (no cripples or homos). I think the message of Crash was that there's a bunch of racism and it sucks and there's likely to continue to be a bunch of racism - which sucks.

On to the news: regardless of my feelings about the Dubai port deal, we're seeing the repercussions of inept political leadership at the White House. The wheels are off. I'd be pissed if they had handled something which I support in such a ham-handed way (like tax reform, for instance). The only thing even approaching this for sheer silliness is that Hillary was unaware that Bill was helping the Dubai folks out while she was railing against the deal. It's no surprise that they're personally out of sync, but it is a surprise that there political machine is out of sync.

As for my views on Port-gate, I can see both sides of the issue and have softened a little. If I had any trust that our government had a shred of competency, I may trust that due-diligence had been done and support the deal. However, I don't and as a member of the Anti-Stupidity party I'm going to have a tough time believing a word they say. (The platform of my party is, "don't support people that are stupid" - and both major parties are currently out of favor. Since the GOP has all the power, and are, therefore, the only party that can "do" anything, they'll be getting the bulk of the hate mail.)

Hope is on the way...

...for all of you whose next breath hangs on my every blogging word. The insurance check for the robbery has arrived and the new laptop is on the way. Hopefully this will result in more frequent posts.

This morning on the way to work I'm listening to the Underground Garage on Sirius and Husker Du's 'Dead Set on Destruction" comes on. I think this was off Candy Apple Gray. In my end-of-year post, I proclaimed 2005 for me as a year of pre-punk, punk, and post-punk. It was a big miss on my part not to have included more Husker Du in 2005 as they are a perfect exemplar of the post-punk sound. I had a Tandy 1000HD computer in college that was pretty much good for one thing - Jack Nicklaus Golf. A great weekday combination was Husker Du's Candy Apple Gray, Jack Nicklaus Golf, Red Man Golden Blend, and cold beer.

The Truth About Dubai

Last December, U.S. News provided the lowdown on Dubai:

From Egypt to Afghanistan, when terrorists and gangsters need a place to meet, to relax, maybe to invest, they head to Dubai, a bustling city-state on the Persian Gulf...Dubai also serves as the region's criminal crossroads, a hub for smuggling, money laundering, and underground banking. There are Russian and Indian mobsters, Iranian arms traffickers, and Arab jihadists. Funds for the 9/11 hijackers and African embassy bombers were transferred through the city. It was the heart of Pakistani scientist A. Q. Khan's black market in nuclear technology and other proliferation cases. Half of all applications to buy U.S. military equipment from Dubai are from bogus front companies, officials say. "Iran," adds one U.S. official, "is building a bomb through Dubai." Last year, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents thwarted the shipment of 3,000 U.S. military night-vision goggles by an Iranian pair based in Dubai. Moving goods undetected is not hard. Dhows--rickety wooden boats that have plowed the Arabian Sea for centuries--move along the city center, uninspected, down the aptly named Smuggler's Creek.

While the UAE supported the Taliban, they don't recognize Israel.

Port Controversy

I find it a bit inconsistent that the President, who's willing to break laws in the name of National Security and doing everything he can to protect the homeland from terrorists, now adamantly supports a state-owned company from a country with 9/11 complicity to own some of our very vulnerable ports.

Defending his decision, he says, "I want those who are questioning it to step up and explain why all of a sudden a Middle Eastern company is held to a different standard than a Great British company. I am trying to conduct foreign policy now by saying to the people of the world, `We'll treat you fairly.'" Well, Great Britain, headquarters for the company that now owns the port, was not complicit the the planning and execution of 9/11. Great Britain is not located in the most unstable part of the world. While the current UAE government may be pro-Western, how can we be sure they will be on our side in ten years? Or ten months? I feel pretty comfortable that the British government is pretty stable.

Most of the bin Laden family in Saudi Arabia are very pro-Western, but would we sell them a railyard or an airport?

I'm all for free-trade and globalization and the democratizing effect they have on the world, but this seems real damn risky. I am sure that it is an overstatement to call the UAE the fox and our ports the henhouse...but it's not that much of an overstatement.

My second area of confusion is that Bush usually doesn't come out so forcefully on something until it's been politically vetted. I don't see anybody saying anything good about this. It looks like a bipartisan loser. How is Rove going to spin this into an election year plus for Bush like he did with the domestic wiretapping scandal?

Academic Political Correctness

Free speech seems to be under fire lately. The greatest example is perhaps the cartoon furor, but I'm particularly disturbed by the resignation of Larry Summers as president of Harvard. To me, this is political correctness gone awry. Summers was skewered because he suggested that innate gender differences may be why there were fewer women professors than men. I think this sounds like an excellent topic for further research, especially at a noted research institution as Harvard. I don't think anyone can claim that there are not "innate gender differences" between men and women. Short of the ability to discuss this in a university setting and research it, how could we ever address it? If anyplace should be a bastion of free speech, it should be the university, and this action bolsters the argument that universities are held captive by the p.c. left.

Cherry-picked Intelligence

Very revealing (and long) article from the former Middle East Chief of the CIA. The nut of it - what we already knew - intelligence was manipulated and cherry picked to support decisions already made. I particularly liked this bit:

[T]he greatest discrepancy between the administration's public statements and the intelligence community's judgments concerned not WMD, but the relationship between Saddam and al Qaeda. The enormous attention devoted to this subject did not reflect any judgment by intelligence officials that there was or was likely to be anything like the "alliance" the administration said existed. The reason the connection got so much attention was that the administration wanted to hitch the Iraq expedition to the "war on terror" and the threat the American public feared most, thereby capitalizing on the country's militant post-9/11 mood.

Latest from the Farsi Fuehrer

The Persian Pogromist said:

We must believe in the fact that Islam is not confined to geographical borders, ethnic groups and nations.

So kind of a Catholic missionary thing? Share the love with the world? Mein Mullah continued...

It’s a universal ideology that leads the world to justice...We don’t shy away from declaring that Islam is ready to rule the world.

Ah. Okay, then. Fundamentalist Iranian Islam ruling the world. People, this intransigent fellow is about to get the bomb. Like I said here, the Chamberlain at Munich moment is nearing.

Cratering

Hopefully some of you wise financial types were smart enough to short RadioShack stock. If the humiliating CEO Resume scandal and response from the eunuchs on the Board of Directors wasn't enough, fourth-quarter earnings were so far in the toilet as to necessitate a "turnaround plan." It would require Jacques Cousteau, two Bathyspheres, a gross of underwater light cannons, and an Ohio-class nuclear submarine to see my stock options.

Defining Centrism

Political eggheads should read this article. It is an analysis of the American electorate that addresses the notion of the American center (of which I am a member). The main point of the article is to further stratify "independents" into three categories: independent leaning democrat, independent independent, and independent leaning republican. It turns out that over the last fifty years these "leaners" have been reliable votes for the side to which they lean. Therefore the true size and importance of the independent vote is grossly overstated. Looking at the last election, it is patently obvious that the "turnout the base" strategy worked better than the "appeal to the center" strategy.

Here's an interesting observation from the study:

Democratic-leaning independents are usually more partisan in their voting behavior than are weak Democrats. Or perhaps, on reflection, this is not so surprising after all. Remember, some components of the traditionally Democratic base, such as union members and blacks, tend to be socially conservative, while many college-educated independents turn up their noses at partisan labels but are consistently liberal in outlook.

As much as I'd like to claim membership in the ranks of the "true" independent," I think this is probably where I fit in.

The most salient point made in the article is about marketing, but justifies what, I think, all of us already know. All stripes of Republican are more brand loyal and ideologically aligned with the GOP than Dems are with their party. While the overall number of Dem and Dem leaners is greater than that of the GOP, the lack of message and ideological consistency among Dems reduces turnout...and loses elections. After six years, Bush, who rode into office as a "uniter," has shown to be a singular polarizer of the country and the world. It's hard to imagine what can unite Democrats if the Bushian ability to polarize has failed.

Beak boy Update

I commented on the men's skater who wore an orange glove to represent a swan's beak in the gay sport thread. Well, I think the men's two-man luge has some major competition. Turns out beak-boy is American Johnny Weir. I encourage all interested parties to read this article. A sampling:

"I don't like to be called a jock," Weir told NBC. I don't really see that Johnny Weir needs to lose any sleep over that particular concern. But he continued: "That makes me think of spandex-covered football players. It's not - not me. I'm in rhinestones and velvet, not spandex."

Nobody understood what the single red glove was all about. Johnny Weir wore that glove during his figure-skating short program Tuesday. When asked what it meant, he explained that the glove was the beak. And he was the swan. That explained it all right. Weir also announced that he named the glove "Camille." It's a good name for a glove.

No Money in Blogs

Here's a brief but interesting article on how to spot the end of a trend. The trend in question here? Making money off blogs. One category of trend-enders:

The Gullible Latecomers: In the end stages of any investment mania, the clueless and the greedy flood in. You know things are really poised for a fall when people who have no management experience and feeble business plans somehow manage to raise cash for ventures. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Pajamas Media. Last November, the collection of right-wing blogs (with a few lefties thrown in for laughs) grandly announced the closing of a $3.5 million round of venture capital financing. Roger Simon, the screenwriter-turned-blogger who is the CEO of the enterprise, promised "to change the way people report and access news and commentary." I don't know. It looks to me like a bunch of blogs with their own logo.

Olympic Survey

My experience with the Winter Olympics has been limited to a couple of women's hockey games, the Bode meltdown in the downhill, and snippets of other silly sports like Nordic Combined. I really enjoy watching the women's hockey because the game is a tick slower than the NHL and, therefore, allows you concentrate on the entire ice and see plays develop rather than just following the puck.

In general, the Winter Olympics appear to be specially designed for gay white people. In this vein, I ask you, the readers, to render an opinion on the gayest Winter Olympic sport. Feel free to comment as anonymous if your afraid of the political correctness police.

Cheney Update

The personification of evil has finished his on-air mea culpa with sycophantic right-wing house organ Brit Hume (I reserve the right to update this characterization after I see the interview...but I'm not expecting much.) Reports say that Cheney confesses to drinking one beer at lunch. Please. The only people that say they had one beer are people that had a shitload of beers and just got pulled over. He was hammered.

The new rumor is that he is having an affair with the third hunter.

Drunk Cheney Conspiracy continued

From the LA Times article:

The Secret Service said it had turned away one sheriff's deputy at the ranch the night of the accident because arrangements had been made for Cheney to be interviewed the following morning, Associated Press said.

Right. If I'd shot someone, I'm sure I could make an appointment with the cops.

The party of 11 hunters set out in two trucks Saturday morning, driving around the mesquite-dotted property and shooting quail until about 12:30 p.m., said Anne Armstrong, co-owner of the ranch. Then they broke for a lunch of antelope, jicama salad and camp bread, washed down with Dr. Pepper.

Nothing goes with jicama and antelope quite like -er, uh- Dr. Pepper?

Conspiracy Theory Bandwagon

This is too delicious...I can't resist. I think there's a good chance Cheney was drunk or had at least been drinking. I know I would have been drunk out hunting birds on a beautiful Saturday afternoon in South Texas. I've been around enough rich Republicans on Saturday afternoons (at A&M football games) to know they're not above tippling. Anyhow, that's why they waited 14 hours before he met with cops. If this cat Whittington drops dead, Cheney may be in an intoxication manslaughter jackpot unless all the witnesses perjure themselves.

Search Engines in China

I confess being conflicted over the kerfluffle with internet companies and the repressive Chinese government. The nut of the deal is that Yahoo, Google, Microsoft, Cisco and others are censoring content as the price of doing business with the booming economy. For example, I entered "Tibetan independence" on Yahoo's China site and, predictably, I don't know what I found because it was in Chinese...but I have it on good authority that I would have been redirected to only articles from the state run press. Ditto for Tienanmen, Falun Gong, Democracy, etc.

So the question is: should U.S. companies be complicit in Chinese repression? Yahoo is reported to have turned over emails that led to the jailing of political dissidents. On the face, I would say no. However, on the flip-side I believe "sunshine is the best disinfectant" and if we can incrementally inject some information into Chinese culture, it's bound to spread.

The real answer may be one of nuance. I hear Google only agreed to the censorship provided they appended a message at the bottom of the results page that says the content had been filtered. Thoughts?

Bring it on, bitch

At one of these protests over cartoons, the leader of Hezbollah said, “Today, we are defending the dignity of our prophet with a word, a demonstration but let George Bush and the arrogant world know that if we have to ... we will defend our prophet with our blood, not our voices."

Fuck you, buddy.

How can this knucklehead call the world "arrogant" as he seeks to impose upon us his backward, tyrannical worldview. One of the things I dislike about Bush's government is its arrogant interventionist execution of poorly thought-out airy-fairy plans (plans that are generally designed to meet political ends.) But the U.S. has some skins on the wall and, ulitimately, we're the straw that stirs the drink.

Here's your quagmire

After three years and $16 Billion, you can still only count on four hours of electricity per day in Baghdad. Compare this with 16 to 24 hours before the war, based on a report from the Special Inspector General for Iraq (not the so-called liberal media). It gets damn hot in Texas in the summer and if I could only get four hours of electricity, I would be clamoring for some accountability. To make matters worse, 20% of Iraqis have sewers and only 32% have drinking water. I might as well just light my tax dollars on fire.

Anyone with a cursory knowledge of Maslow's Hierarchy should be able to wrest lasting control of this place. These people don't want democracy, they want toilets and air conditioning. Why can't we improve those things first and then worry about self-actualizing concepts like freedom and democracy.

Run-of-the-mill business undergrads have heard that you can't manage what you can't measure. Here's a situation where we've got the measurement part down cold, but are failing to adjust in the management area. It's pretty clear that the civilian political leadership hasn't been up to the task, but these numbers suggest that the management on the ground has sucked as well. If this was a company, hopefully we'd have fired the CEO, but we damn sure would have changed strategy and tactics. This hasn't happened with the "stay the course" bunch.