New LCD

No, not a new LCD TV - the press has unearthed a new Lowest Common Denominator and her name is Jordan Susch. Here's Jordan's story in her own words:

“I’m a true example of how Harry Potter books can open your life to witchcraft,” said Jordan Susch. Susch says she read the first Harry Potter novel when she was in the fourth grade. Two years later, she says, she and her friends were practicing witchcraft.“We wanted to know if spells, potions and curses worked. By the seventh grade, I was so depressed, I set a date to kill myself,” Susch said.

How's that for a logical leap? She was depressed because her curses didn't work? Or because she's an idiot with idiot parents. I feel very confident that if you are suicidally depressed, there's more to it than the Half-Blood Prince.

So of course, the answer in Georgia is to ban the books from the school library because of the Lowest Common Denominator. Luckily she's found common-cause with a busybody mother with too much time on her hands. Closed-minded parent Laura Mallory said, “I want to protect my kids, children and others from evil, not fill their minds with it.”

Let's hope she's shielding her precious children from other fiction containing evil witchcraft like turning water into devil-liquor.