Main Street Arts Festival

The biggest and coolest festival in the Metroplex is going on this weekend. They use tickets for beer and food so you don't realize you're paying usurious prices. But I don't give a fuck. I love festivals. It's an opportunity to become anonymous in a crowd and check out the zeitgeist (as far as FW can be a gauge of the zeitgeist.)

Here's some major themes I took away from the festival:

• Obesity - everyone is fat now, and I'm no exception.
• Dogs - they are now carried, not walked, mostly by dickless men. (see first bullet)
• Beer - still very popular (see first bullet)
• Hot chicks - must have been elsewhere, I thought I was in Chicago (see first bullet)
• Tattoos - still don't get it. Ugly. Crutch for something, maybe vapidity.
• Live music - still the best, I don't really care what they're playing. I enjoyed the 65 year old men playing "Funky Cold Medina."
• Art - as it should be, a matter of taste. Original art is expensive...as it should be. As a knuckleheaded woodworker, it took several days/weeks to make a piece worthy of using in my own house. What am I worth per hour? (Ladies?)
• Food - I'm exclusive to Schmidt's. They throw down great Brats and other sausages. One ticket extra for kraut. (see first bullet)
• Babies - ubiquitous. I saw a two-year-old on a five-point leash.
• Overall - can't think of a better way to spend an afternoon.