Friday, March 14, 2008

How Dumb are Americans? Now With ODDS!

Here's my prediction: somehow, someway, Osamy bin Laden will ENDORSE the Democratic nominee.

We're already seeing signs of it. The Republican Scare the Shit Out of People Machine is at work as it has been in '02, '04, and '06. Didn't McCain say that 9 out of 10 terrorists prefer Obama over McCain or some such? Will the people continue to believe that terrorists are afraid of Republicans but emboldened by Democrats? The Republican Party might as well be considered the recruiting arm of Al Qaeda. Republicans are the Super Bowl team that gurantees a win in the press before the game. They keep guaranteeing victory and terrorists keep posting the clippings on their cave-bulletin boards.

Haven't we seen where all this bipolar victory or death guaranteeing gets us? In a bind, by god. With no leverage, because we've sworn off negotiation or compromise as pure French pussy-ism.

Petraeus came out today and announce the surge has failed. It wasn't reported at all. The goal of the surge was achieve 18 benchmarks, 2 of which have been partially achieved. Republicans like Lindsay Graham (McCain's biggest supporter) were saying when the surge was announced during the 2007 SOTU speech that if these 18 goals weren't met by last summer we'd need to consider pulling out. Well, it's 9 months later and they haven't been met. Petraeus said as much today...the Iraqi government isn't reconciling...the goals that were supposed to be met nine months ago or we had justification for withdrawal, per a hawk ex-military Republican, haven't been met. How does everyone forget this?

But Bush does what he's best at. Moving goalposts. How many times have we "turned the corner", or captured the #3 guy. The worst job in the world is Al-Qaeda's #3, because he's killed once a month. How much smoke can one collective country have blown up its collective ass?

The unspoken collusion between Republicans and Al-Qaeda is so Cold War obvious. It's such a win-win proposition. McCain will guarantee a 1000 year crusade thereby energizing Osamy's base and Osamy will guarantee a 1000 year jihad against America thereby energizing McCain's "security-over-freedom, assault-weapons for all, old people and Red Dawn lovers" base and maybe manage to grab up some evangelical rapturists. Meanwhile we keep funneling half the earth's GDP into Lockheed and Boeing who reciprocate by contributing to all the Republican campaigns. I know Eisenhower's quote is trite now, but the Government-Military Industrial Complex circle jerk has gone off the radar.

And America will, by god, buy it. Hook, line, and sinker. McCain will scare the shit out of everyone, and they'll vote for him, and the circle jerk will remain unbroken.

I'm not willing to make a prediction quite yet (but I'll give the Blogorrhea line later), but I'm feeling like McCain will take Rove's 2000 South Carolina playbook and work the Obama Hussein angle, carefully hidden through proxies and surrogates, and win his necessary eternal war by slime. His VP might be someone with economic chops because the economy has tanked and the Swiss Franc is worth more than a Wasington, but more likely, and much more unfortunately he'll sell himself out to get someone to pull in the Christianists. That timeworn formula has worked too well for too long, especially when you have a Democratic Party irrevocably fractured by Hillary and Bill's scorched-earth path to victory or death.

Despite the incalculable seven-year monotony of stupidity, cronyism, law-breaking, scandals, secrecy, vengeance, division, warmongering, and on and on and on... Blogorrhea has Pachyderms 3-2 over Asses. Odds are likely to rise on the Pachyderms unless Hillary chooses a path other than mutually assured destruction. (as an aside...isn't her campaign enough to disqualify her from any leadership position? The hell with that 35 years load of crap, I've seen enough in the last six months to know she shouldn't be in charge of anything more than a hot dog stand.)

A final plea: Americans, please follow the money. Post cold-war Republicans have realized they NEED terrorism to keep the money flowing into their coffers and the terrorists NEED bellicose Republicans to keep up the flow of recruits. A more peace-minded candidate stagnates terrorist recruiting based on lack of invective (and lack of holy-land invasions), and diminshes trillion dollar wars bought on Chinese credit cards, which is better for the economy.

Ramble Over.

2 comments:

The Whited Sepulchre said...

Sir,
We will have some sort of "October Surprise" that will accomplish exactly what you're predicting.

Very few people remember the Osama video that surfaced about a week and a half before the last Pres. election.

I tend to vote Republican. But I agree with you on the Yin/Yang nature of terrorism and elections.

Steve said...

Good point about the last October surprise.

And I'm not deserving of the "Sir"

Thanks for your comment.